Corrupt Bstard – Official Electoral Address
I will pay every adult resident of Bristol an Unconditional Basic Income of £15,000 every year.
This will give you the time and the freedom to do stuff just for the love of it.
If you earn extra money doing this stuff, that’s an added bonus.
You will recieve this Annual Unconditional Basic Income whether you are working in other paid work, non working or retired.
I will fund this Annual Unconditional Basic Income by introducing a tax on all spending. A small percentage tax whenever money is turned over, transacted or spent.
The time has come to eradicate poverty and free the spirit of all Bristolians.
This is your chance. Seize it!
However, as I engage in dialogue with the residents of Bristol, I am becoming aware of manifesto promises that they would like to see. So in order to help my fellow candidates out a bit, I am listing here, as they arise, all manifesto promises that the residents of Bristol tell me they would like to see, and I heartily recommend that one of the other candidates takes them on as his/her own, because they are definite vote winners, as they come from the electorate of Bristol.
MANIFESTO PROMISES I RECOMMEND TO THE OTHER CANDIDATES
1. Abolish schools fines for non attendance at school. Since when has any business fined its customers for rejecting its product?
2. Give “Interest Free Loans” to all new businesses that promise to give away all their “Net Profit” to fund “Food, Shelter & First Class Healthcare for All” (Obviously once the unconditional basic income goes global there will be no need for this)
3. Criminalize “surplus food being put into landfill” and encourage people to work for Fairshare
4. Compulsory “Non Violent Communication” lessons on all Bristol Schools curriculum
5 City of Bristol to host a monthly “Open Space” event, for all Bristol residents, entitled “Bristol: How Do We Make It Even Better”
6. All politicians pay packet to be “reduced” to the national average of £489 per week (including Lobbying Fees!!!!!)
7. Use the monthly “Mayors Round Table meeting with Mr Cameron” to convince our David to invoke a one-off windfall tax of 20% on the £4 trillion wealth of the richest 10% in this country. This would pay off the nations debt at a stroke and still leave them all as the richest 10%
8. Get Lothian buses to run the bus service in Bristol. Their bus service in Edinburgh is very cheap and very frequent, usually a bus every 10 minutes, and covers prqactically every road in the city.
9. Make elections truely democratic. Put a “none of the above” box on all ballot papers.
10. Run a City of Bristol TV channel, with programmes, films and documentaries, promoting the culture and creativity of this amazing city. All programmes to be made by Bristolians and residents of Bristol, get the schools and academies involved. Celebrate Bristol and make sure the channel has an hourly “Good News” bulletin as well.
11. If everyone in Bristol picked up 1 piece of litter (or dropped 1 piece less) every day, imagine what Bristol would look like Run a “Pick Up 1” campaign, selling the “Pick Up 1” idea the same way we sell cars and mobile phones. ie make the idea look attractive and enticing, rather than negative and condescending. Also set up a web page, similar to instragram, for people to upload a photo of the piece of litter they picked up that day.
12. Quadrupple rates on empty buildings, to entice landlords to get them occupied by any means possible. The homeless and creative collecticves to be acknowledged as occupying a building
13. “keep the dental hospital open all day instead of having to queue up at 8am on a first come first served basis. It’s no bloody good on a winters morning when you’ve got a rampant toothache, is it. Bet the manager closes early so he can bugger off to play golf with his mates” John (OAP with Toothache)
14. Write “WHATS BEEN THE BEST PART OF YOUR DAY?” as a signature on the bottom of all bristol city council mailouts.
15. Abolish the £500 deposit to stand for election. Increase the number of nominations needed instead.
16. Only allow “party political donations” to be made into a state funding pot, which is then shared equally between all candidates. If there is no pot, then all candidates will be restricted to their one free mailout.
250 Supporters with £5 each will pay to place my election address, advertising the “Uncondittional Basic Income Guarantee” in the Official Election Brochure, that will printed and distributed by Bristol City Council and is sent to all 322,000 Voters in Bristol. You can Donate your £5 here if you so desire.